Chase Away The Shadows
by weareallfangirls
Summary: Alec will do anything to protect his sister, even this. Post CoG.


**This is probably really bad but I just love Alec/Izzy so much that I wanted to write something about it. I don't own anything ok. **

Everything is red. Everything is sorry. Everything is death and Max and she just can't take it anymore. She can't escape it; she can't escape the fact that it's all her fault. If she hadn't left him alone, if she would have stayed with him and protected him then this wouldn't have happened. She wouldn't see her brother screaming, calling out her name when she closed her eyes. She wouldn't see the red of his blood as he lay on the floor, motionless. It was all her fault. Max will never know how sorry she is, he'll never know how much she loves him and she will sit wrapped in her blankets, suffocating dying to breathe knowing that she will never be able to hold her brother in her arms again or say the words she wishes she had said now. The only words she can manage now is_ my fault my fault my fault._

.X.

At first they would come regularly to her door, knocking, pleading.

"Isabelle, please come out. Talk to us." They would say. She wouldn't be able to hear them, too wrapped up in the screams and horror of that night.

Then the visits became less and less, until they had given up. The only one who still came to her room was Alec. She couldn't face him. She had failed. How could he love her? How could he love the girl who had done nothing? How could he, the strong and beautiful shadowhunter, love the girl that had left his brother alone with that-that _monster?_ No one would love her now. Everything was so confusing and wrong and all Isabelle wanted was to hold all of her brothers in her arms hold her parents and tell them each how much she loved them. She could never do that now. She had forgotten how to speak, how to say anything but _my fault my fault my fault. _

.X.

Isabelle hadn't looked in a mirror for days. She stood up shakily.

Left

Right

Left

Right

She stood in front of the mirror, eyes down. She couldn't look. She couldn't look at herself. She shouldn't be alive, breathing while her brother Max is- no. She can't think about that, how is she supposed to think about that? She took a shaky breath, wondering if she will ever be normal again. Pain is what she needs; pain is how she will forgive herself. She reached for her blade, the small one, and held it in her small hands. As the blade contacted with her soft skin, she smiled. They would have to forgive her now. They would have to know that if she could trade with Max, she would. Max, Jace, Clary, Simon, _Alec._ They would all know. She slowly carved an M into her skin. Max. Max. He is looking down on me, she thought, and he is forgiving. She just wanted everyone to know that she wasn't a monster. As blood poured out of her, she faintly heard a knock on the door.

"Isabelle? It's me, Alec." She smiled again. "Can you talk to me today? Please?"

She looked up, over at the door. Her voice was rough. "I found a way for you to forgive me, Alec."

The voice came back slightly nervous. "Forgive you? Izzy, you know what happened wasn't your fault."

She dug deeper with the blade. It wasn't working; he was supposed to be forgiving her not lying to her! "It's my entire fault, but I figured if I suffered like Max did, then you'd all forgive me right?" She clenched through her teeth, hissing at the pain. It had to work, it had to.

Alec's voice raised a pitch. "Suffer? Izzy, stop whatever it is you're doing. Please." He started trying to open the door. She screamed. He just _wasn't getting it. _As the blood trickled from her wrist, the door flew open. Alec was frozen to his spot. "Izzy, what are you doing?"

She wiped away a tear that had fallen, smearing her cheek with blood. "Don't act like you care, Alec. You're all ashamed of me. It's my fault he died." She couldn't even say his name. He knelt in front of her, slowly holding out his hand. "Give me the blade Iz, no one blames you."

_Lies lies it's all lies I killed him it's my fault I'm a disgusting monster_

She shook her head violently and clutched the blade to her chest. "I deserve this Alec, it's my entire fault!" she was yelling, getting hysterical. Why couldn't he understand? "I'm the reason he's dead, if I didn't leave him he would still be alive!" Tears were flowing down Isabelle's cheeks, tears that wouldn't stop.

"Isabelle, you couldn't do anything-"

She clutched her hands to her ears, to shut out the bad words. _Lies_ _It's my fault all my fault!_

"- It's Sebastian's fault!" She couldn't take it anymore. She flung the blade at the bad words, shrieking. The bad words stopped. Isabelle looked up. In his hand, his now injured hand, Alec held the weapon by its blade. Realisation dawned on her; she had tried to kill her brother. She broke down, screaming hysterically.

_I am a monster I am a monster I am a monster_

She heard a clatter of the blade hitting the floor and a pair of arms around her. Alec whispered soothing words into her ear, trying to calm her to no avail. She was suffocating. Suffocating in everything she had done. She was a disgrace. No one would love her. She collapsed into her brother's arms, her sobs never quieting, her screams never ending.

.X.

She was thinner than the last time he had saw her. Dangerously thin. He had bandaged her hands. They used to be strong, healthy. Now there was no difference between skin and bone. He had cleaned her up and taken care of her just like when they were kids. When he had put her to bed, she had begged for him to stay. He couldn't say no; not when she was like this. Isabelle was curled up next to him, as if she was 5 years old and he was 7. She looked at him with those eyes that had lost their life. "Will you ever forgive me? Learn to love your sister again?"

"I will never stop loving you, Iz. You're my sister. My blood," As he said those words, something changed in her eyes. They became softer. They were also closer than before, he realised. Their faces were centimetres apart, their lips inches. "And I love you, Alec." He looked away, smiling. His smile wavered slightly when her small fingers found his chin and gently pulled it to her. He looked into her eyes reluctantly, which were no longer as soft, and she crushed her lips to his.

.X.

He was pulling away, she could feel it. She could feel his hands pushing at her. Why did everyone she loves leave her? He just said he loved her, so why was he abandoning her again? "Don't leave me," she pleaded desperately against his lips. "You said you loved me." Despite her pleading, he broke the kiss. She nuzzled his cheek with her nose, skimming it along his jaw. He shook his head, and told her no. No. She didn't like that word. He kept saying it. She wanted him to stop. She lifted her lips up again, took his face in her hands, and kissed him. This time he didn't pull away.

.X.

She had begged pleaded and broken him down. Her dark eyes held so much pain, so much loss and agony that he knew what he had to do. Alec was the only one left for her, how could he just abandon her when she needed him most? "Please," she had begged. "Stop the pain."

"I can, just not like this."

"I don't want to lose you, Alec. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere Iz, what do I need to do to prove that to you?"

"Come here. Please."

He knew he had no other choice; he couldn't cope with the screaming at night, the hollowness in her eyes, bones, face. This, however fucked up it was was how to do it. He would do anything for her, even this. He had begun to forget who he was holding in his arms, and then he heard her moans and whispers and he remembered. That almost broke him. After, he lay in her arms. Her hands stroking his hair, her shoulders wet from his tears and her mouth whispering words into his ears.

"We'll be ok, Alec. We'll get through this. Together,"

This time it was his sobs that echoed through the night.


End file.
